Paradise in the Mist

With eyes averted and 
my head held low
in the shadow of my shame
though the words I speak
are small and weak
 I whisper them all the same

Through dry parched lips
that crack and bleed
from the barrens of remorse
comes a pleading sound
and my voice is found
though painful, weak and hoarse

From lids of pain
that have held no tears
like a desert cold and arid
comes a single drop
with a mournful plop
and I confessed~I am so scared.

And through the mist
of my dampened eyes
I saw heaven's possibility
and I was also to know
arms that could melt the cold
and warm me for eternity

And that day in the sun
I thought I had left
all those seasons when I was so sad
and I thought I had grown
but if only I'd known
paradise was never mine to be had

And the dark came again
an eclipse of the soul 
with an autumn that troubled my trust
and I wandered away
one long ago day
leaving heaven behind in the dust

Despair holds the heart
that clings to regrets
about a paradise lost in the past
that I continue to seek
though I nevermore speak
of the shadow those memories cast

My dry lips still ache
for the heaven I found
 in the grey fog I still crave your kiss
and sometimes I see
though it was not meant to be
my lost paradise in the mist

Carolyn R. Parsons