The Actor

My Grandson Dante~loved unconditionally!

This is a poem about the things we do to mask our pain and our fears.  It is also about unconditional love.  There are people who take drugs,  drink, some escape into parties and excessive spending, while others fall into eating binges.  Others find love or lovers (in the wrong places perhaps), gamble,  there are many ways to escape but basically we excess on anything that helps us forget or mask our demons.  Those like shame, regret, guilt, and fear.  It is human nature.  We all do it.

But, eventually, the pain comes through because nothing works forever and as long as we're human we will have human moments.  We have truly honest moments when the party is over, when the booze wears off and when we crash from the high.  Because the truth is,  whatever pain and fear we are attempting to escape from will come seeping in at some point like some powerful and painful poisonous gas. 

But it is in those moments, when we are at our lowest, when the monster is outside our door and we feel there is no escape, that we are given the opportunity to find our greatest strength.  Always know that deep inside we all have the ability to deal with whatever comes our way.  Never doubt it.  It is true for everyone. Even me, though I am weak quite often.  I find strength in giving love and to give it in advance has kept the monsters at bay for quite a while.  I find strength in knowing I am loved and I find even greater strength in knowing I am worthy of love. 

I live my life pretty open and what you see is pretty much what you get, but I too have things I share with only a select few who I feel are trustworthy and without judgement and who know the entire me and who do not blink no matter what manner of freaky I throw in their direction.  Yes,  I too have roles I play and I too sometimes feel like I'm walking upon a stage rather than living the life that I was supposed to have. 

There is nothing more liberating than knowing that someone knows all your darkest and deepest secrets and loves you anyway.  And there is only one way to find that person, and that is to take the risk and reveal your true self to them, weirdness, warts and all.  To step off the stage.  To stop performing.  That is a truly brave thing to do.  And it's the only way to find someone who lets you be on that stage but loves you after the lights go down and you're just you, all real and warm and humanly flawed.  It is the only way to find unconditional love and the only way to learn how to give it.  Enjoy my little poem.

The Actor

The master of grand gestures
plays the role upon his stage
the setting set, the actors cued
the audience engaged

A well timed kiss, a perfect line
delivered with perfection
convinces all who sees the show
that he follows well direction

The curtain falls, the accolades
rain down like snowflakes fall
and he accepts an encore,
he deserves it after all

The music rises, a song is played
for the master of this hall
then the final bow, but who is he now?
and will the monsters come to call?

When the lights go down the play is end,
the stage stands bare and stark
the master of the gesture
isn't grand there in the dark

And life intrudes, reality
the monster that he vanquished
was only hiding in the dark
until the show was finished

He's just a man, he's not a master
but he's a hero just the same
He has strength untold in his loving soul
and he's poised to win this game

So he stands up tall
for after all, he's perfect underneath
and the role that gets him through sometimes
is shed with great relief

And strength is found in the shining sun
not some spotlight from above
for the gestures that are truly grand
 are simple ones of love

Whatever the problem, there is just one solution, love.

~Carolyn R. Parsons~