Interesting Writing Blog and a question

I stumbled upon this blog Miss Snark's First Victim and the challenge was to enter the first 25 words(or first sentence) of your novel.

I just started my next novel, a complete change in direction, from a literary romance to a paranormal romance. For fun I thought I would post my beginning here. This is first draft so it may well end up as chapter 5 or 50 or be completely cut before this story sees the light of day.

Let me know what you think. And if you have your own first lines I'd love to read them :)

Fear caught at the back of her throat like an adrenalin hairball. Life can change in a quantum moment. For Shannon that moment came on a hot Tuesday in July.


Unknown said…
I want to know what she was afraid of.
That's good! It's supposed to make you want to know more. Thank you!
Debbie said…
very good..looking forward to more...although I will admit an adrenaline hairball sounds kind of gross!!:) it did stick in my mind though...!!
haha..I know..It's a completely different direction for to spread my wings :) It's got the good vs evil thing going on with good being victorious of course but it's really going to be straight up raw and uncensored. I'm kind of enjoying it.
RNSANE said…
It is definitely intriguing and, of course, makes me curious as to the cause of the fear. Adrenaline hairball is hysterical but definitely descriptive!
I love your creativity and imagination. I can tell you have done this before. Mine is really boring in comparison but I am excited to share and that is why I continue to read other writers.
Here is mine:
Lilly stood on her front porch in the cool September breeze. As she watched little Mathew running around chasing a small homemade kite through the tall grasses of the field a few dozen feet in front of the cabin. His frame seemed so tiny against the acres of green meadow behind him. He looked so happy, so carefree. Oh to be young again she thought to herself. His nearly white blond hair cascaded down and into his eyes. His mother would be coming from the grocery soon. As she leaned back in the porch swing lily’s thoughts began to wander back a few months when Mathew and his mother first came to stay at the farm.
That's good, I would definitely read more. I think I would take out "As" from the second sentence but that's it. It doesn't need it and it's stronger without it. And you use it in the last sentence. I want to know more. How did they come to be there etc. Thanks for participating!
Thank you Breeze. I cherish your advice. I wrote what is written approximately 8 years ago.. I need to get back to it.